Lesson 08 (Reconciliation)
Key Concept
Identify conflict as an opportunity to biblically address barriers to oneness with God and each other.
The goal of this lesson is for couples to practice the biblical peacemaking process. Couples will address issues that have built up in their marriage, establish a practical exercise that will help them get along and, most importantly, embrace the peacemaking process as a way of life. This process is not normal for most couples in this world, but learning and applying it is central to who we are as Christians.
The goal of this lesson is for couples to practice the biblical peacemaking process. Couples will address issues that have built up in their marriage, establish a practical exercise that will help them get along and, most importantly, embrace the peacemaking process as a way of life. This process is not normal for most couples in this world, but learning and applying it is central to who we are as Christians.
Question Highlights
- This lesson is different from others in that you are not looking to discuss answers to the 3 questions. You want couples to share their experience exercising the process. Ask open-ended questions like:
- What was easy about the process? Difficult?
- How did you feel afterwards?
- How can you begin to make this a regular practice in your marriage?
If couples want to share specifics about the sins they discussed in Steps 1-4 then embrace it, but that’s not the expectation and you certainly don’t want to pressure a couple to share specifics. For some couples this will be very raw and they need time to get comfortable sharing. - Action Item 2: Be sensitive to anything couples may have listed. Make an offer to connect and talk through next steps. Ideally you do this as a couple but, in some cases, it may be better to connect one-on-one by gender.
Reminders
- This is a great lesson to pray for your couples and reach out during the week to see how they are doing. Go out of your way to encourage them! Some participants will feel particularly vulnerable this week because they’ve stepped out of their comfort zone and owned or confessed things for the first time, and they are waiting to see the fallout
- Be prepared for a wide range of responses from couples, from “for the first time we worked through some long-time issues” to “we could not finish it” to a couple that may not even show up this week.
- The last section “When Conflict Is Unresolved” might trigger some frustrated spouses because they want to see everything confessed and reconciled now. Remind them that it took a while for them to get to this point in their marriage and it might take a while to work out of it so be patient.
- Examples are your friend in this lesson. Appendix D is super helpful so make sure participants are aware of it. Also be prepared to model the process by sharing a recent conflict between you and your spouse.
- The Truth About Marriage is a great reminder that a reconciled relationship does not necessarily mean trust has been rebuilt.
- Are your couples regularly attending the Large Group time? Around this time, some couples start skipping, kind of a “been there, done that” attitude. Reinforce the need to continue attending by starting group each week debriefing the Large Group.
Posted in Re Engage
No Comments